At the Jersey Shore, it's Labor Day weekend and the last gasp of summer

Never take the seawall home after a night at the Anglesea bars. It’s too dark, with too many turns, and you’ll hit a lot of boulders before you fall in the inlet. Stick to the sidewalks. It’s an ethos my family — just me, actually — has uttered for about 25 years now, ever since my parents plunked down $79,000 for a small, two-bedroom condominium in North Wildwood we couldn’t afford in today’s market.

It was a real windfall, and perilous, having that condo around at the height of my bar-going days, when the annual Irish Fall Festival felt larger and even more raucous. I’d cram a dozen friends in there, sleeping off the Guinness on couches and floors till noon. A friend once slept outside, only to be carried onto the lawn for a sprinkler alarm clock. Do I know someone who was bloodied by the seawall? Maybe.

I was thinking of all this recently because summer’s coming to an end and I’ve barely been down there. The condo survived two hurricanes, but a faulty ice cube maker turned it into a swimming pool last summer. Almost everything had to be gutted because of mold, and the work’s still not done, heading into Labor Day weekend. The few times I’ve been down, it’s been a quick overnight for Inquirer stories. I slept on a mattress on bare plywood floors, between power saws and sheet rock, and still felt lucky to have that.

Shore guru Amy Rosenberg has covered the affordability issue at length this summer and even pondered the philosophical questions of just who owns the Shore and whether the “Shore” as we know it, is over? Readers weighed in, some defending the whims of the marketplace, others deriding second-home owners who bought high and have to rent high to stay above water. Some are turning to Mexico and the Caribbean, and others, like reader Pamela Gwaltney, said the Jersey Shore is in the rearview mirror now.

“Too much money, too many people, too much time, too much drama. As a Black family, we have had innumerable run-ins over the years with folks who do not look like us and who do not want us there.”

I think about Amy’s question — who owns the Shore? — often. In this, the last scheduled edition of the Shore newsletter for this year, I wanted to return to it. My heart is with the day-trippers, illegally changing bathing suits in the public bathroom, or the families crammed into old, Wildwood rooming houses, because that used to be my family in the ’80s. Reading over my old stories, I see I’ve danced around the word “Shoobie” for years but might as well admit I hate it. It’s why, when I write about the Shore, from time to time, I’m drawn to issues of affordability: the last places to take a public shower or the quest to preserve Wildwood hotels. I’ve come out, publicly, against beach tags as a tax on the poor. Hearing the prices colleagues were being quoted for a single hotel night in Cape May, even Wildwood, this summer were mind-boggling. Some just drove home instead of staying. One even spent $400 to rent an inland yurt, thinking it might be romantic and whimsical instead of so damp and moldy she had to pitch her own tent directly outside. (Yes, I offered a place to sleep in the Nark construction zone).

Being separated from the condo this summer brought this all home for me, but I still managed a few nice nights down there. I went to a music festival with my older son, who is 22. I bought him a Jimi Hendrix shirt at my favorite store on the boardwalk and we ran into Eagles Hall-of-Famer Harold Carmichael in Diamond Beach, where my cousin DJs. My son had his Super Tully Nut. One night at Keenan’s, in North Wildwood, I lost track of him in a mass of people half my age. I went back to my car and fell asleep and woke up around 2 a.m. only to realize his phone was in the car too.

I drove the half-mile back to the condo, slowly, and eventually found him, walking home, on the sidewalk. He’d lost his shoes, somehow, but I’ve been there and didn’t really probe. At least he didn’t take the seawall.

📮 As an avid camper, I think there should be far more affordable tent camping on or near the Shore. I’m looking at you, enormous Wildwood beach. Do you think that could happen? Do you think more people will stay offshore? Let me know what you think by replying to this email.

As my 16-year-old son, a surfer, has been telling me, it’s hurricane season and waves are coming. Be safe.

— Jason Nark (🐦 Tweet me at @jasonnark. 📷 Follow me on Insta at @jasonnark. 📧 Email me at [email protected])

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🌊 Irish Riviera too: Philly Democratic officials described North Wildwood as the “Philadelphia Riviera” recently, but the Wildwoods have also been called the “Irish Riviera.” That makes my colleague Rita Giordano’s “message in a bottle” story even more heartwarming. I won’t spoil it, but someone tossed a bottle in the seas in Ireland and …

🪑 Chair Watch: In the never-ending quest to gather news, I’ve joined at least 200 Shore Facebook groups. I love a silly one. I was recently introduced to Chair Watch, a group dedicated to all the items atop a seemingly abandoned house along the way to the Shore, on Route 47. It’s better than all the posts complaining about beach tents and teenagers. Visit Chair Watch here.

🏡 OC rules in rentals: Airbnb tells The Inquirer that Ocean City is the most popular family destination in the state. The online rental giant says this “spacious loft” is among the most popular. It’s currently listed at $287 a night. Another top rental, at $261 a night, is the two-bedroom Willowtree Beach Cottage.

💸 If you win the lottery: The “Guard House” in Avalon sure is nice to look at. Alas, it’s for sale at $11.9 million. The new six-bedroom, eight-bath home across the street from the beach is bright, airy, with wide open spaces, a pool, and assortment of decks to lounge on. It’s “Palm Springs” style, according to the Philadelphia Business Journal.

📬 And in this last edition of this season’s Down the Shore, we’d love to hear what you think about the newsletter. Email Down the Shore with your feedback here.

💀 Jackass at the Shore: Steve-O, perhaps the most outlandish of MTV’s infamous Jackass crew, will be at the Hard Rock in Atlantic City Saturday night talking about his sobriety and the litany of injuries he’s suffered being a prankster. I interviewed him earlier this month.

🐦 Birds on the beach: Ever watch an Eagles game on the beach? Brigantine is hosting beach tailgates on Sept. 10 and Oct. 1, with an inflatable screen. Tickets start at $8.

☘️ Go Irish: I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention one of the biggest parties at the Jersey Shore, the annual Irish Fall Festival in North Wildwood. It kicks off Sept. 22 and lasts the whole weekend. Drink water!

🎤 Enter the Wu-Tang: No one needs an excuse to visit Atlantic City’s Boardwalk Hall. It might just be the most beautiful interior on the whole coast. But the Wu-Tang … with Nas? The show is Sept. 29 and ticket prices aren’t too bad.

🔥 Bonfire: There’s nothing quite like a bonfire on the beach. Unfortunately, they’re mostly illegal in New Jersey. North Wildwood is having an official one, however, on Oct. 21. Admission is $10

Last week, Amy asked what Shore town has become an unlikely hot spot for bachelorette parties. The answer was Cape May and reader Emma Richman, who had her bachelorette party there, was among the first to get it right.

Now that Atlantic City’s iconic Boardwalk Hall is on my mind, what future president was on hand there to watch Mike Tyson KO Michael Spinks on June 27, 1988?

A. Bill Clinton

B. Joe Biden

C. Donald Trump

D. George W. Bush

John Cooke is the general manager of the Sea Crest Inn, on the corner of Beach Avenue and Broadway in Cape May, and a venerable newshound.

Q: John, we’re heading into the Jersey Shore’s “shoulder season.” How do you define that?

A: It’s April, May, and October. Shoulder season is well before Memorial Day and after the crowds leave in September when the ocean is still warm enough to swim and the bird migration is in full swing.

Q: How did you wind up in Cape May?

A: That is a long story, but I started in some of the largest hotels in Philadelphia, [such as] the Franklin Plaza in the ‘80s. Hospitality has always been in my blood.

Q: Cape May seems to have more trees than most Shore towns? Does that make fall more special there?

A: Definitely we are a Tree City USA with lots of mature sycamore lining the streets. They provide color and drama in the fall season. Rotary Park is a paradise in itself.

Q: It’s a Saturday night in January, tell us where to eat in Cape May?

A: On a Saturday night in January, I am eating at the Mad Batter on Jackson Street. They are open year-round and Sunday night is open mic night there. You can walk into a packed house on a Saturday and Sunday night in January.

Q: When you visit other Shore towns, where do you go?

A: Ocean City or Strathmere are my go-to places.

Reader Palmer Marinelli grew up at the Jersey Shore, in Strathmere, and shared a memory of bygone days, when Shore towns didn’t feel like exclusive resorts.

When we were young, there was only one house on our block not owned and lived in by a multigenerational working class family. Typically, that one house was a modern looking atrocity, that required heavy work every year, not designed for the conditions. As prices skyrocketed, growing families got priced out and relatives not interested in the shore lifestyle took the profits, or in many cases, developers and real estate firms bullied older residents.

📮 For this last week, I’d like to know what your favorite out-of-season Shore memories are. You ever spend Thanksgiving there? Christmas? Send me your Shore moment or memory with a picture for a chance to be featured here.

See you next summer,

Jason Nark